"And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye." By Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Showing posts with label Joke. Show all posts

Malaysian style - How to choose a bride !  

Posted by Ms Kuzie @ Gee @ Nor @ Suka

A Mother was very concerned that her middle-aged son has not shown the slightest indication of getting married. So one day she called him over to her house. The Son came home from work, grudgingly. Upon arriving, he found that his mother had gathered a few beautiful ladies at the house for him to choose as his future bride.

The FIRST one was a well-endowed Telephonist-cum-Receptionist. He immediately commented: 'Aiyaa..... Mother, they always say.....PLEASE HOLD ON, HOLD ON.........'
The SECOND nominee was a leggy Secretary. She was also rejected. Reason being: 'Aiyaa.... Mother, this one aaa..., Secretary alwaysfond of saying 'PLEASE SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN........'By this time, the mother is nearing frustration.
She called the THIRD nominee, a sweet but plain-looking Teacher. The Son suddenly agreed!!The Mother was surprised and asked: 'Why this one? I thought the earlier two were a lot better. He replied: 'Teachers aaa.... Teachers very good, very good, always say: PLEASE REPEAT, DO IT AGAIN, I want it done 10 times.... SOMEMORE, SOME MORE.....!'
Her youngest son (10 years old), was listening quietly all this while at the other end of the room. Suddenly, he shouted: 'Brother.... the lady mini bus Conductor better la... she always says: 'NAIK CEPAT, NAIK CEPAT..... MASUK, MASUK...... MASUK LAGI, DALAM LAGI.....DALAM LAGI LAAAAH, MASUK BELAKANG..... BELAKANG LAGI, BELAKANG BANYAKKOSONG.....'
The mother fainted....

Best Clean Joke  

Posted by Ms Kuzie @ Gee @ Nor @ Suka

A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said 'I want to be a movie star.' Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials.
The agent asked, 'What's your name?'
The guy said, 'My name is Penis van Lesbian.'
The agent said, 'Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood , you are going to have to change your name.'
'I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever.'
The agent said, 'Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years.... you will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent you.'
'So be it! I guess we will not do business together' the guy said and he left the agent's office.
FIVE YEARS LATER..... The agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awe-struck, who would possibly send him $ 50,000? He reads the letter enclosed...
'Dear Sir, Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood , you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.Thank you for your advice.....
Sincerely,
Dick van Dyke

What is the different? Same meaning but different spelling and pronuncation!!!

Suatu hari tanpa cermin mata  

Posted by Ms Kuzie @ Gee @ Nor @ Suka

Suatu hari tanpa cermin mata
Buat ku teraba-raba
Suatu hari tanpa cermin mata
Semuanya jadi kabur belaka
Suatu hari tanpa cermin mata
Muka yang handsome aku nampak entah apa-apa
Suatu hari tanpa cermin mata
Memanglah jadi alasan untuk duduk sahaja
Suatu hari tanpa cermin mata
Hari raya ku sungguh tak bermakna….

Nukilan rasa: Mama Kuzie sempena memperingati hari raya tanpa bercermin mata
06th – 8th December 2008.

Adegan/Gambar Yang Seronok Dilihat  

Posted by Ms Kuzie @ Gee @ Nor @ Suka

Aku nak kongsi email aku dapat dari kekawang...
Cuba korang tengok gambor kat atas ni.. Ada gak rupanya spesis Mr. Bean dalam dunia ni. Tapi kenapa letak kepala katil jer kan.... alang-alang tu letak sekali ngan katil / tilam. Boleh gak kalau penat-penat tumpang landing. So sesapa yang nak ciplak idea kat atas silakan... tapi jenuhlah korang nak angkut kepala katil tu ke sana ke mari nak masuk dalam boot keta pun confirm tak muat untuk yang keta kecik lah.
Apa-apa pun pastinya pemilik keta di atas mempunyai alasan sendiri untuk meletakkan kepala katil tersebut...

Don't tease an old lady...  

Posted by Ms Kuzie @ Gee @ Nor @ Suka

Defence Attorney: Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.
Defence Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defence Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.
Defence Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh .
Defence Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.
Defence Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago..
Defence Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.
Defence Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.
Defence Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
Defence Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me now !'
Defence Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, 'April Fool!' And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.

Clock