I decided to take a bit of a breather, and post a list that somebody else has made. This one is more proactive; rather than focusing on what your spouse does (or doesn’t do) to show love to you, try listing ways that you can love him or her instead.
- Communicate with him respectfully.
- Regard him as important and let him know he’s important to you.
- Do everything you can to at least understand his feelings, even when you disagree with him.
- Be interested in his friends and occasionally give him time with them.
- Ask for his opinion and let him know you value what he says.
- Tell him you love him and like him.
- Let him feel your approval and affections.
- Protect his dignity on a daily basis.
- Be tender with him realizing he has feelings also.
- Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together.
- Avoid sudden major changes without discussion giving him time to adjust.
- When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems
- Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of focusing so often on the negatives.
- Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
- Correct him gently and in private.
- Recognize that the first few minutes after a spouse comes home often sets the stage for the way of rest of the evening will go. So try to make the first few minutes of seeing other a more positive experience if possible.
- Make special time available to him apart form the children.
- Don't allow any family member to treat him disrespectfully. You should be the one to defend him to any family member that dishonors his place as your husband.
- Compliment him often.
- Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.
- Talk with him about having specific family goals for each year to work on to achieve together so you will both feel closer to each other as a marital team.
- Don't over commit yourself. Leave time for him.
- Be forgiving when he offends you.
- Find ways to show him you need him.
- Encourage alone time for him when it's possible. (This energizes him to reconnect with you at other times.)
- Admit your mistakes; don't be afraid to be humble. Peel away your pride.
- Defend him to anyone who is being disrespectful in their talk about him.
- Respect his desire to do well—not his performance.
- Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day.
- Take time for the two of you to sit and talk calmly.
- Initiate going out on romantic outings.
- Write him a letter occasionally, telling him how much you love him.
- Surprise him with a fun gift of some kind.
- Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family.
- Tell him how proud you are of him.
- Give advice in a loving way — not in a nagging or belittling way.
- Help your husband to be the Spiritual head of the home.
- Look for ways to reserve some of your energies for him so you're not so tired when he wants and needs you sexually.
- Don't expect him to do projects beyond his capabilities. All men aren't born equal in this area of expertise.
- Pray for him to enjoy God's best in life.
- Take the time to notice what he has done for you and the family.
- Brag about him to other people both in front of him and even when he's not there.
- Share your thoughts and feelings with him (but keep it brief when he's tired—sometimes men can feel "flooded" by too many words).
- Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
- Honor him in front of the children (and differ respectfully in private when it's necessary).
- Give him time to unwind for a few minutes after coming home from work, and then take your "time out", giving him a few minutes with the children.
- Get up with him, even when he gets up earlier than you want to and pray with him. (Hopefully you can go back to sleep afterwards. If not, it's a sacrifice worth making.)
- Be his "help-mate" in whatever ways you sense he needs it.
- Do some shoulder-to-shoulder activities with him (like watching a movie or driving quietly in a car) without talking. Sometimes men just like to BE with you and not talk.
- Be a student of your husband's ways so you can show your love for him in ways he'll better comprehend it.
- When your husband is in a bad mood—give him quiet time to recover.
- Help him to finish his goals, hobbies, or education when he needs your help.
- Treat him as if God has stamped on his forehead: "Handle With Care".
- Work to get rid of habits that annoy him.
- Be kind & thoughtful to his relatives. Don't make him choose between you & them.
- Don't compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
- Thank him for things he's done around the house. (It means a lot to men).
- Don't expect credit for all you do for him and the household. Do it as "kerana Allah".
- Make sure he understands everything important that you're planning to do.
- Do little things for him—an unexpected kiss, coffee in bed, etc.
- Don't belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words with him.
- Initiate sex periodically. And respond more often.
- Sometimes let him enjoy his day off work without having to "work" at home.
- Get to the point in your discussions with him. Spare him details unless he wants them.
- Discover his sexual needs.
- Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work.
- Wink at him from across the room when you're out at a group function.
- Give him the benefit of the doubt when he says things in a wrong way. Think, "What's he really trying to say?"
- Don't quarrel over words.
- Don't forget to use common courtesies with your husband. (Too often we're kinder to strangers than we are to our own spouse.)
- When something goes wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do better.
- Never say, "I told you so."
- Don't argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead.
- Take him out on dates—pre-planning all of the details ahead of time.
- Hold his hand in public. Snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in public.
- Praise his good decisions; minimize the bad ones. (And if you need to discuss the bad ones do so respectfully, looking for ways to make better decisions in the future.)
- Tell him you love him often.
- Put love notes in his pockets and brief case.
- Sit with him while he's watching television—even if the program doesn't interest you.
- Don't ask of him to read your mind. (Family's are spared the grief when a husband isn't required to read their wife's mind despite the fact that the woman thinks he should.)
- Periodically, give him time with his family alone.
- Check with him before you throw away his junky looking papers. (He may view them as more important than you realize.)
- Work to keep yourself in shape in every way.
- Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.
- Carefully choose your words, especially when angry.
- Don't criticize him in front of others—keeping his dignity in tact.
- Visit his childhood home with him.
- When you're angry with him, express it in ways that are respectful. Don't give him the silent treatment.
- Pray for him.
- Make him homemade soup when he's sick.
- Look your best—dress to honor him and make him proud to be seen with you.
- Support him when someone tries to put him down. Be his best cheer leader.
- Don't disagree with him in front of the children.
- Take him for a weekend get-away without the children.
- Cheer his successes whether in business or in other areas of everyday living.
- Be gracious in teaching him how to show you ways that will demonstrate his love for you.
- Give him coupons to redeem—maybe for a back scratch or a shoulder rub.
- Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot and put it in his wallet.
- Hide notes for him around the house where only he will find them.
- Thank him for just being himself.
(Author : Unknown)
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